


I've Got You Under My Skin

by corda_cariora



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: AU, Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Drug Use, Happy Ending, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:20:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corda_cariora/pseuds/corda_cariora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid is a hitman. Derek Morgan is his target. Nothing goes according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Derek is not an asshole. He doesn't want to cheat. He also doesn't have a choice, really. I tagged as a warning that cheating happens.  
> 2\. In this universe, everything is the same except Reid is not part of the FBI, not even remotely. This also happens when Morgan is the team leader, not Hotch. Hotch is still on the team.  
> 3\. Yes, the unusual MO of the assassin (including the bee) is from Elementary, and I do not take credit for that wonderful idea.  
> 4\. The title is from Frank Sinatra's I've Got You Under My Skin (obviously).  
> 

People assume that all hitmen are some sort of ex military guys with muscles and an arsenal of weapons in the back of their van. They are not entirely wrong, most hitmen look like people think they should look like, which is why law enforcement catches up to them eventually. No matter how skilled they are, someone will always notice a suspicious character fleeing the scene. 

No one will ever suspect a tall, skinny kid who looks like a busy college freshman. He wears neutral colors, a messenger bag, big glasses, and always carries a notebook in his hands. His hair is a mess. He never stands out. Even when he stands in the middle of a busy street writing in his little notebook. 

Reid is the mastermind. After stalking his target for few weeks, he learns that his target takes the same route to work every day, but unfortunately he doesn't look where he's going, he's much too busy sending emails on his phone. So Reid strategically places rocks on the road right under the target's feet. Reid knows the precise speed of the target's walk, he knows the precise weight of the target, and with a simple calculation he knows that when he trips, the center of gravity will push the target into the direction of a gothic enthusiast home owner's fence that happens to be just the right height. Reid also tracks communication between law enforcement, mostly to prove to his future clients that a hit was never suspected. 

He has several accounts all over the world under completely legitimate aliases where he keeps his money. He has a lot of it, but he still lives in a modest apartment in New York. He also owns a few other modest apartments in Baltimore and Miami, just in case he needs to get out of the state in a hurry (though the odds of that happening are small; he calculated them). He doesn't ask questions, he doesn't care why his target is wanted dead. He doesn't even care about money - one time he accepted a collection of books as payment. Perhaps this is why he has become so famous: he can take any form of payment, he is never suspected, and he is really good at what he does. He can be easily found because he doesn't even need to hide. 

On Monday morning, he is approached by yet another shady character in a coffee shop line. The man gives him a phone number and begs him to call as soon as possible. Reid nods, and rolls his eyes when the man leaves. He gets his coffee - one cream, five sugars - and calls the number on his way home.

"This is Reid, let's get to business," he says immediately when the man on the phone picks up. 

"Yes, hello, my name is –" figures, Reid thinks, he voice is shaking, he's nervous, or excited. Or in a hurry. 

"Let me stop you right there." Reid says firmly. "First, I don't need to know your name, just your contact information, an email or a phone would do, just make sure it's untraceable. Second, just send me a name and a photo, or anything I can use to find your target."

"I will text you all the information I have."

"Good. After a make my initial assessment I will contact you with my price." He has to hang up before the client protests. He's much too excited to think clearly. He might agree to an outrageous price that will be flagged as suspicious. God, all these people are far too predictable, and far too slow.

He receives a text message with a picture of a newspaper article. Front page, too. Reid loves a high profile target, at least there he can find a challenge. "FBI taskforce exposes huge scamming ring" the article says. He scans the article and finds that it focuses mainly on agent by the name Derek Morgan, the leader of this task force. Fascinating, Reid thinks, it's not often he gets to target a trained and hyper aware government agent. Agents usually don't have a routine, so it would be much harder to stage an accident. He feels a tingle of excitement run through the body - this one is going to be fun. He dials the number again.

"Let's talk payment," he says. "I want 10 grand upon completion, and 2 immediately. Wire random amounts to these account numbers and wait until the media publishes an article. Done in two weeks, a month, maximum. Deal?"

"Look, I can get 8 grand, but 12 is a bit beyond me."

Reid snorts. "I can find out who you are and I can make you disappear while I get away with all your money. I don't know who recommended me to you, but clearly they didn't tell you that I am not some little kid that you can walk all over to get the job done."

The man pauses, takes two breaths in. "The money will be there in 24 hours."

Reid takes a second look at the newspaper article and smiles. With no predictable schedule, his only choice is to lure him into an accident, and for that he needs to gain Morgan's trust. 

~*~

Derek Morgan is used to threats on his life. His job deals with the worst people in the world, and more often than not, he ends up face to face with them. So it's not really a surprise to him when he finds out that man he helped arrest has been released on bail and has been making a series of phone calls and texts to a blocked, untraceable number. He feels it in his gut that he has a target on his back now. He theory only gets confirmation when he finds out that he has made a series of money transfers to several banks around the world. They were either bribes, or payments. Morgan wished they were bribes, because payments, especially this many, meant a series of hitmen. 

Morgan has been keeping a file of possible hitmen in a folder at his house. He hoped he would only use it to solve a case, never to help himself. Regardless, he spends the next few days studying it, profiling each guy to see which one would have the best chance to get him. He shares his ideas with the team, there's no need to keep them in the dark. There is no official case. A week passes and the chief decides that Morgan overreacted, and his detail is suspended. 

He is sitting on the couch in front of the TV, digging through the file once again, dozing off to sleep until he hears his front door opening. His heart races and he jumps up, stalks to the door with a hand on his gun, ready to pull it out of the holster and shoot. He jumps out with his gun aimed at whoever was stupid enough to pick his door.

"Derek, what the hell?" She puts her hands up and drops her keys and bags on the ground. " It's me, Savannah! Your girlfriend! Not a killer!"

Morgan stares at her until he remembers that she has keys to his house. He then puts his gun back and laughs nervously.

"Did you... did you stay up all night?" Savannah asks, picking up all her stuff and closing the door behind her. "What has gotten into you lately? I don't remember you being so paranoid before."

"I'm really sorry. I am so sorry. It's just, there is something up, and I'm trying to find this guy before he gets to me..."

"Woah, woah, slow down," she says and walks up to him. She puts her hands on his face and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. "You are safe here, you have a bunch of people watching you and I really doubt that anyone who is out to get you will be dumb enough to break into your house. Think about this for a minute."

Morgan laughs. He didn't tell her that his protective detail doesn't exist anymore, he doesn't want to worry her. Though she has a point: no hitman is stupid enough to break into the target's house in the middle of the day. Plus, he really needs to go to sleep. He throws an arm around her shoulders and they walk together to the kitchen.

"How was the night shift at the hospital?"

"There was a three car accident on the interstate at 2am. And then there was this kid who was allergic to strawberries but thought it was a good idea to drink strawberry vodka. Oh and our attending surgeon decided to walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, but he tripped and twisted his ankle."

"You sound like you like the night shift better than the day shift. Coffee?"

"I do. And yes to the coffee." She smiles. "Brew something fresh while I take a shower" She kisses his cheek. Morgan sighs and goes looking for her favourite coffee.

Obviously, this is the perfect time to find out that he doesn't have anything left, not even the cheap instant brand. He leaves a note telling her that he'll be back with coffee and heads out to the store.

It's almost midday, it's cold and bright, and the moment the sun hits his eyes, he feels like his head is splitting it half – that is one hell of a migraine he's getting. He quickly walks to the only store that sells the Savannah's favourite coffee, but he doesn't even make it inside before he finds himself violently thrown backwards. He blinks away the surprise and realizes that he just walked into someone. Some young kid is now lying on the floor, in a pile of papers, produce, and several books that were probably in his bag. Oh dear, what a day, Morgan thinks. 

"Are you alright?" Morgan asks and bends down to check on him. "I'm sorry, man, I'm a bit distracted."

"Yeah, I'm fine...Though I might be seeing stars..." the kid says, rubbing his forehead. Morgan opens his mouth to apologize, maybe to pray that he didn't give this kid a concussion. Then he sees him smile and his takes a deep sigh of relief. "I'm kidding. I'm fine. Just help me out get my stuff in order."

Morgan helps him get up and they scramble to clean up the mess. The kid collects his produce and Morgan collects his papers and books. By books, he means tomes of incredibly difficult subjects that he didn't even know existed. The last one catches his attention: it's a book on profiling. His heart warms up. This young man probably wants to join the bureau one day. He looks at him again, just to see if his face is familiar. But all he can see is the mess on hair on his head, his pretty brown eyes, and a quite attractive shape of his lips. He smells like coffee and parchment. He is tall, skinny, but years of experience tell him that he is not just skinny, he is agile and not as defenseless as he appears to be. 

"Are you alright?" he asks when he notices that Morgan has been staring at him. They stand up in unison, and Morgan realizes that he's been holding his breath.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine, but I noticed that you are reading a book on profiling and I happen to be – "

"Agent Morgan with the BAU, yes I know who you are," he smiles. "Your face has been all over the news and papers recently. I'm something of a fan of your team."  
"You have one over on me. You know who I am but I don't know a thing about you." Is he flirting? He's flirting. This is not good. But before he stops himself from going down further, the kid smiles, again, and shakes his hand. He has a surprisingly strong grip. 

"I'm doctor Spencer Reid, nice to meet you. Thank you for not giving me a concussion."

Morgan smiles apologetically. They move aside to let people pass and in few minutes, and then they find themselves sitting in a cafe next door.

"You look too young to be a doctor. How old are you, 20?" Morgan says to him as he sips his coffee.

"24 actually. But I'm not a medical doctor, I just have three PhDs, and two BAs" Reid says quietly, he doesn't want it to sound like he's bragging. When he sees Morgan staring at him with that spark in his eyes, he decides that he should probably brag a little. "I have an IQ of 187 and can read 20000 words per minute. And I have an eidetic memory."

"So what's your deal? Why are you still reading books on profiling when the FBI would hire you in a second? Especially if it wouldn't even take you long to go through the academy?" Words begin slipping out before he can stop himself. "I would love to have a genius like yourself on my team."

Reid notices Morgan's poor attempt at hiding his interest. Reid feels proud, he didn't expect to stump this profiler so easily. He knows the man is a sapiosexual, but this is just too easy because he didn't even have to create a new identity. He can be himself and get the job done. 

"I'm in the process of getting few more degrees. While I do that I tutor younger students. Besides your line of work seems a bit too dangerous for my taste. How many scars do you have? How many times have you been shot?"

Morgan sighs. "Too many times to count. But I've been a cop in Chicago before I moved on to the BAU."

"Well that explains it then. Cops get shot in Chicago all the time," Reid says sarcastically and bats his eyelashes at Morgan.

Morgan stares at him, fully aware of the blatant and obvious flirting, fully aware that it's actually working. He can't stop staring at the kid's lips, dying to know how he tastes, how his hair feels. His throat is begging to be kissed. It takes all his concentration to avoid jumping him right there, especially knowing that he would not mind at all.

He feels his pants vibrate and the reality of the situation hits him at once. He has a girlfriend, and this is cheating. He's been gone for god knows how long, and she's waiting for coffee. Coffee that he did not get because he just met a genius pretty boy. He gets his phone out and gets ready to hear Savannah yell at him for taking too much time. Panic must be very evident on his face because he sees Reid laughing into his own drink. "You in trouble?" he asks like he knows exactly what's going on.

Morgan looks at his phone and his face sinks. He'd wish for angry Savannah over this any day. "I have a case, and it's bad." He looks at Reid and his chest hurts. He sees disappointment and worry. Mostly disappointment. He's honest with himself and he admits that he wants more time to get to know this genius. 

"I guess I'll learn about the case when you solve it," Reid says. "This is my card, it's for my tutoring business, but it has my cell number on it. Call me, if you want. I feel like we could be really good friends." Morgan takes the card, trying his best to ignore the inflection Reid put on "friends". 

And just like that, he walks away. Morgan bites the inside of his cheek and calls Savannah to let her know that he's not coming home any time soon.

~*~

Morgan knows he's in trouble. He cannot get that kid out of his mind. He feels guilty, because he really does like his girlfriend, which is why he feels like he's cheating every time he thinks of him. 

They catch the unsub. He gives a press conference at the end of the case and all he knows that Spencer Reid is watching it at home. 

~*~

Reid gives himself a mental pat on the back. Without trying at all, he's got the agent wrapped around his finger. He finds out that agent Morgan is allergic to bee venom. He lives in a house surrounded by bee friendly plants. So he plans for a completely innocent little bee to sting him when he won't be able to find an epipen or call for help. It's tragic. He simply can't wait. 

~*~

There is no need for slow seduction. Morgan was hooked the moment he laid eyes on Reid. 

It doesn't matter to him that he has a girlfriend. It doesn't matter that the kid is slightly younger than any of his past partners. It doesn't matter at all because he is unbelievably attractive and smart, and all he has to do is smile and Morgan wants him. When they meet for lunch a third time, eating feels like a charade. 

Reid excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He washes his hands and face. Then he feels hands on his hips forcing him to turn around. Morgan's hands are all over him until they land on the back of his neck, pull his hair and Reid can't help but open his mouth and let Morgan in. Their kiss is rough and messy. Morgan grabs Reid's ass and Reid smiles and does the same to Morgan. 

Morgan's brain turns on as suddenly as it went off. "I'm gonna pay the bill, and then we'll go to my place," he says. He's not asking. He already knows that Reid will follow him. He also knows that his girlfriend is on a three day medical conference in Virginia.

Reid doesn't like Morgan's driving. For a federal agent, he's making too many risky moves, and Reid can tell that it's not because his mind is currently in Reid's pants.  
Morgan fumbles with the keys, while Reid draws circles on his back. When they get in, Reid leans against the door while Morgan reaches for the locks. Morgan's knee is between Reid's legs. Reid groans and pulls him closer. Morgan takes the lead and begins unbuttoning Reid's shirt. He can't take it off because of Reid's messenger bag.  
Reid laughs, gets rid of his bag so Morgan can take his shirt off. Then he reaches under Morgan's shirt, lightly scratches his belly, feeling the firm and beautiful abs Morgan has. He grabs Morgan by the belt, unbuckles it, runs his hand over Morgan's hard cock. Morgan groans and purposefully bites Reid's lower lip. They stop and breathe for a moment, panting from sheer excitement. 

Reid takes of his undershirt. Morgan grins – he was right, there was a lithe body hiding beneath those clothes.

"Bedroom?" Reid asks. 

"That way," Morgan replies and nods toward the hall. "End of the hall to your left."

So Reid goes ahead, with Morgan following him closely. Reid opens the door and that's when Morgan pushes him on the bed. Reid leans up on his elbows and makes a face. 

"Can you open the window? It's a little hot in here." He has to get the job done. Once Morgan is asleep, Reid will get rid of all the epipens and let the bee out of his bag. But the EMTs will think that the bee came in through the open window. Too easy. But now, he has to wear him out. 

Morgan takes off his pants, and so does Reid. Then he gets on all fours by the edge of the bed, hooks his fingers in Morgan's underwear and yanks. He doesn't give Morgan time to think as he takes him into his mouth. He swallows around Morgan's cock. He feels Morgan shudder and then there are hands in his hair. Morgan can't resist gently pulling his hair. Reid moans and the vibration of his voice make Morgan shudder again. Reid closes his eyes and runs his tongue over the tip of Morgan's cock, tasting precome. 

He pulls out and licks his lips. He sits back on his knees and uses his palms to get hair out of his face. He looks up at Morgan with an innocent look in his eye and a sly grin on his face. 

"Where did you learn to do that, pretty boy?" Morgan asks. He's genuinely surprised. He did not expect someone so young to be so good. This just turns him on more.  
Reid smiles widely, flattered by the compliment. "Pull my hair again and maybe I'll tell you."

Morgan takes the invitation. He pulls, massaging his scalp. Reid closes his eyes and finds Morgan's stomach. Slowly, he kisses his way up to Morgan's lips. After one innocent kiss, Morgan lets go of his hair, uses his hands to pull Reid's underwear down. He takes Reid's cock into his hand, and squeezes gently. His other hand grabs his ass. Reid leans closer and pants into Morgan's ear.

"Derek, please, just fuck me already."

"Fine," Morgan says. He puts his hands on Spencer's shoulders and pushes him down. He straddles Spencer's hips and pins his hands above his head. Spencer makes an obscene noise. Derek gets a bottle of lube and condoms out of the bottom drawer of his nightstand. He pours generous amount of ice cold lube on his hands and rubs them together in a quick attempt to warm it up. Spencer shivers when he feels cold between his legs. Derek starts with one finger, waits until Spencer's breath is just a little more uneven, adds a second finger, then a third. Spencer spreads his legs and grabs onto the headboard to steady himself. 

"I guess I was wrong to assume that you were a blushing virgin," Derek says as he scissors his fingers. 

"You are a damn tease," Spencer growls. 

"Is that genius brain of yours still working, Spencer? Any chance I can turn it off?"

"You can try, but if you keep talking I swear I – " By the time Spencer started talking Morgan has already put more lube on his hands, spread it out over his cock. When Spencer looks to see why he's no longer receiving any attention, he gulps. 

Derek grins. He pushes his cock in, and Spencer arches his back and uses his grip on the headboard to push himself down on Derek's cock. Derek is genuinely surprised. He did not expect this young genius to be so enthusiastic. 

He sets a regular pace because he knows that Spencer's brain probably needs a break. He wants to bring him over the edge, to exhaust him right into sleep. Spencer lets go of the headboard and rakes his fingernails up and down Derek's back. For that, Derek grabs Spencer's cock. He runs his thumb over the tip and takes a bite out of his shoulder. Spencer moans – he's getting close to the edge, and his brain shuts down. All he feels is Derek above and inside him, and he feels so good. 

The edges start to blur for Derek too. Spencer is hot and tight, squirming and moaning under him. He keeps thrusting and pumping Spencer's cock. He desperately wanted to bring him over. In a haze he remembers that Spencer likes his hair pulled, so with his free hand, he runs his fingers through it and pulls. Spencer moans and lets Derek push him over. 

The sight of Spencer coming makes Derek come. He rides out his orgasm still inside Spencer, and Spencer lets him. A few moments pass and then Derek rolls over next to Spencer. 

"Damn," Spencer says, "You actually managed to turn off my brain for a while."

"Hold that thought," Derek says. He gets a towel from the bathroom to clean them up and then flops down next to Spencer. "Now are you going to tell me where you learned to give great blowjobs?"

"Shush, agent Morgan. Let's talk about this after I take a nap."

Morgan chuckles but eventually he dozes off to sleep. Reid opens his eyes and checks that Morgan is sound asleep: he walks around, makes some noise, but Morgan doesn't stir. He goes through every room and finds all the emergency stacks of all anti allergy medication Morgan has in the entire house. He takes the jar with the bee out of his bag.

Holding it in his hands, watching the poor little thing struggle to get out, Reid's brain turns on and now he can't stop thinking.

This isn't the first time he slept with a target to gain trust or insight. But this was one of very few moments in his life when his brain was lulled, quiet, and peaceful. He can't get Morgan's "pretty boy" out of his mind, he can't forget how his hands felt on his skin. Reid gets half hard remembering what happened moment for moment when he realizes that he cannot kill Derek Morgan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. So much angst. Also sex. But mostly angst.

Reid doesn't sleep through the night. He lies awake next to Morgan wondering how he ended up like this. He never abandons jobs halfway through.  He changes strategies, sure, but he does not stop.

Morgan stirs next to him, moves slightly away. Reid immediately feels the heat loss. He crosses his arms over his chest and frowns. He tries to slow down, to figure out why it only took Morgan few days to change him like this. And he wasn't even trying.

Then a whole new series of problems reveal themselves. What is their relationship now? What could it be? How long would it last? Should Reid tell Morgan about his real job? How will he deal with a very unhappy and angry client who just paid a lot of money for being an accidental matchmaker?

One thing at a time, Reid says to himself. First, he decides to get rid of his client, maybe even return some or all of his money to avoid suspicion. Then he could change his numbers and emails to avoid anyone new contacting him. But before all that, he needs to figure out what this thing that just happened between them meant for the future. He runs through variety of scenarios in his mind so he doesn't go into this conversation empty handed. This is really not good. Each time he thinks he gets some confidence and clarity, a new variable shatters his entire plan.

Morgan wakes up naturally at 8 in the morning. Before he does, Reid gets up from the bed to close the window.

"Nice ass," Morgan says suddenly.

Reid jumps and turns to see Morgan stare at him. Reid looks at the clock – it's only 7.

"Thanks, but shouldn't you be asleep?"

"How do you know when I wake up, pretty boy? Have you been stalking me?" Morgan stretches and yawns. Reid stares at him and wonders if he should tell the truth. He finally decides to avoid the problem because that's obviously the best solution.

"No," he says, "your alarm is set to 8:30, so I assume you would naturally wake up around 8. And it's a work day."

Morgan grunts something like "anyone could figure that out, genius" as he stands up and goes to take a shower.  Alone in the room, Reid collects his stuff and promptly gets out of the house, as fast as he can.

When he steps outside, the sun is too hot and too bright for him. He stumbles back to his apartment, closes all the curtains, and almost literally sits alone in a dark corner, waiting until the migraine goes away. There are too many things happening and he can't help but work on everything at once. He tries to take a break and read a book, but it's not a good enough distraction. He'd have to read at least ten books and he is not in the mood.

He doesn't want this, he knows he shouldn't, he knows that this is a very temporarily solution, but he goes to his medicine cabinet anyway. The ringtone he set for Morgan calling from the living room only encourages him. Even though there's no need to, he locks the door to the bathroom and checks his supplies. There is only one vial of dilaudid left.

The needle marks in his arms are almost invisible. It's a miracle that an experienced FBI profiler hadn't noticed that he slept with a used-to-be-two-months-sober drug addict. Even if he had, he chose to not talk about it, which is a good sign.

He feels the cold in his veins spreading and creating a sweet dullness in his mind. His mouth opens slightly and he sighs. He injects himself with a slightly larger dose the second time until he becomes blissfully unaware of the world around him.

The feeling doesn't last long. In fifteen minutes, he feels the pain in his arm, the migraine, the tightness in his chest that wants to do something about Morgan. He realizes that dilaudid can't slow him down anymore, not like Morgan can.

He throws the now empty vial at the wall and watches it shatter.

~*~

Morgan isn't really surprised to find Reid gone. He is surprised that the house feels empty without him. He knows that Savannah will be back in two days, but that doesn't make him feel better. It just makes it worse, knowing that he misses some kid he met few days ago more than a girlfriend who's been staying with him for several months.

This is ridiculous. He's an adult, he's not going to mope around like a lovestruck teenager. This is only infatuation. Spencer is brilliant and attractive. There is...was definitely a spark. But he knew nothing else about him. This was fun while it lasted, Morgan thinks. God, he wishes it had lasted longer.

He is about to leave for work when he notices something peculiar. There is a small notebook lying next to the door. It's Reid's.

Morgan picks it up and his curiosity takes over: he opens it. There are pages after pages of what Morgan guesses are mathematical proofs. Sometimes there are actual, normal doodles, though Morgan admits that they look like sketches of an artist. And then there are pages with series of numbers and letters. He's not very familiar with codes but he can tell that he's looking at a cipher.

He wonders if Reid left this on purpose, to psychologically torture him with his attractiveness. But he quickly gets that out of his head because not everyone he meets is a manipulative monster.

He can't help it, he needs to decipher the code. He knows it won't be easy to simplify something created by a man with an eidetic memory and IQ of just under 200. He stops and realizes that it's not very nice to peak at someone else's things.

He drives to work and calls Reid. Reid doesn't pick up, so Morgan gets a little worried. Last night he had a feeling that something was off about Reid but he promised himself that he'd stop profiling people outside of his job. But now that it's actually a good idea to know at least something about the guy, he can't remember a damn thing that can help. He calls one more time – still no reply. Morgan gets slightly angry, still fully aware of the fact that he shouldn't be angry. They made no promises to contact each other ever again. He shouldn't feel obligated to make sure that Reid's fine.

~*~

When Reid fully wakes up from the daze, he sweeps all pieces of glass under the sink and decides to take another nap in a proper bed before he starts thinking _too_ much. He lies down and checks his phone. There are three missed calls from Morgan and a text: "Your notebook is at my place. In case you're looking for it."

That's it. No hello, no goodbye. Right down to business, how professional of him. Reid knows that no one would be able to decipher his notes because he not only uses _several_ rare edition books, but also books in three different languages. It would take a genius with a very extensive collection to even attempt to make sense of his code.

Morgan finding out about his habit is what worries Reid the most. He laughs, because he should be worried about the client who is expecting Morgan dead.

"I'll be there in two hours," he texts back. He waits a moment and sends "I dare you to decipher at least one page. Try and see what happens."

Reid knows he has no self control. He knows that he's about to substitute one addiction for another.

~*~

Derek doesn't give Spencer a moment to breathe. The moment he opens the door, he pulls Spencer in, pushes him against the door and kisses him feverishly.  He can't keep track of Spencer's hands until he is grabbed by the shirt, flipped, and slammed against the door with unbelievable force (he is definitely stronger than he looks).

Spencer bats his eyelashes at him. "Did you decipher anything in my notebook?"

Derek scoffs. "I figured you have at least four books you use to create your key and it's unlikely that I would be able to find the exact editions in the time you gave me."

"I use five books. But you were surprisingly close. Although," he whispers against Derek's lips, "I think you didn't use your profiling skills on me so you had absolutely no chance. I respect that."

"Well I'm glad, but  – " suddenly Spencer is on his knees and he's unbuckling Derek's belt.  Derek laughs, puts his hands on Spencer's shoulders and then pulls him up on his feet.

"Please let me do this, Derek. I really want to make you feel good," Spencer says, and if Derek didn't know better, he would not be able to resist that look on his face: half closed eyes with blown pupils, mouth slightly open.  Derek groans; he knows that Spencer is only playing submissive. He can't help being turned on.

"Not today, Spencer. "

He presses himself against Spencer and crushes their mouths together , and then slowly, step by step backs him towards the bedroom.  They shed their shirts and shoes on the way.

Derek backs Spencer against the bed until he falls backwards.  Derek straddles him, places his hands on both sides of his head.  Their bodies are touching chest to thigh.  Spencer grins, closes his eyes, and grinds against Derek with a loud, obnoxious groan. He can feel Derek's erection through his pants.  Well that's not good enough. He reaches down and shimmies out of his own pants, then his boxers. He grinds against Derek again and it feels so good.

Then he hears Derek's chuckle and he's moving. He's kissing every inch of Spencer's cool skin, gently biting here and there. He takes Spencer's cock in his big, warm hand, and starts jerking him off. After few seconds, he kisses the tip, licks it. Hearing Spencer swear quietly just about made Derek's day.

Derek looks up to see Spencer grab hold of the sheets and arch his back.  He's biting his lip, but he's not snapping at Derek for teasing him.  Derek doesn't know how he feels about this. He would love to break down Spencer's defences, but it's also nice to see him let Derek take control.  He takes Spencer into his mouth and uses his hands to pin his hips down. Spencer makes an obscene noise and fights against Derek's hands. Derek takes his time, he uses his tongue to tease him a little more. He swallows around him while scraping his nails down Spencer's stomach.

Derek's mouth could rival his own, Spencer thinks. In fact he's really proud of his skills, and he's never met anyone who could do better. Except Derek, what a pleasant surprise!

It takes all his concentration to avoid bucking his hips. He's still clutching the sheets in his hands, still biting his lip, and he feels Derek pulling him closer and closer to the edge.

Derek slowly eases off and releases Spencer's cock. Spencer actually whimpers.

"Derek, please," Spencer whispers, his voice is unsteady and a little higher in pitch that usual. 

Derek doesn't say anything. He places a wet kiss on Spencer's stomach, then stands up on his knees and takes off the rest of his clothes. He really wants to fuck Spencer senseless, but he's already made up his mind.

Spencer opens his legs while Derek gets lube and condoms. To his surprise, he watches Derek prepare himself instead.  He's not thorough, not patient, he doesn't care if this will hurt. He squeezes more lube on his hands and takes hold of Spencer's cock.

"You ready?" Derek asks.

"Goddammit, Morgan, just fucking do something already!"

That's all Derek needs. He lowers himself on Spencer and yes it hurt, but the look on Spencer's face is worth it. Once Spencer is all the way in, they stay still and breathe. Derek relaxes, and slowly, the pain goes away.  He starts moving and sees Spencer's eyes roll back and he lets out a sigh of utter bliss. He's already on the edge and it doesn't take long for him to orgasm.

Derek watches Spencer throw his arms over his face. That's when he really sees the scars on his forearms. His smile sinks a little. He feels so much affection for Spencer, this need to take care of him. He thinks that Spencer keeps coming back because he doesn't want to take drugs, because he can quiet his brain just as well.

He leans in to kiss Spencer's open mouth.  Then lies down next to him. "Are you alright, Spencer?"

Spencer makes a quiet noise of affirmation. Derek squeezes his arm and leaves to get damp towels. He cleans up, throws the towels in the laundry basket and flops down next to Spencer again. He doesn't care that he didn't get to come. He's just proud of himself that he managed to tire Spencer out completely.

He feels Spencer stirring beside him. He's getting off the bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" Derek asks.

"Isn't your girlfriend coming back tomorrow? I don't think me staying the night will end well."

"She is, but not in the morning. Come back to bed, pretty boy," he squints. "Or do you have somewhere to be?"

Spencer pauses. He's been wanting to get more dilaudid in case the urge hits him again (he knows it will the moment he leaves).  He looks back at Derek and he just knows that he knows.  There's that look in his eyes that he probably uses on suspects all the time. Spencer takes a breath in and decides to play it safe.

"Well if you think you won't get in trouble..." he trails off and slides under the sheets into Derek's arms.  He finds Derek half hard and that makes Spencer forget about everything else. He rubs his ass against Derek's cock.

Derek stiffens, unsure if Spencer did this on purpose.  Then he does it again.

"Spencer, I thought we were gonna have a nap."

"Are you actually complaining? I don't think you should." Derek's already hard. He pulls on Spencer's hair to get back at him. He bites down on Spencer's shoulder and pulls harder. He moans and arches his back. Derek kicks the covers off the bed and scrambles for lube and condoms, again.  

This kid will be the end of him.

~*~

Morgan is surprised to find Reid still beside him in the morning. He checks his phone – no calls to work. He does, however, get a text from Savannah, saying that she'll be home at 10pm. Morgan feels guilty: he didn't miss her, he's not looking ahead to her coming back. All he thinks of is how he's going to hide Reid from her. Maybe he should just end it. But then again, he's unsure of what the hell this thing is between them.  He doesn't know if they will keep doing this. He rubs his eyes and then turns to look at Reid.

He looks so young and innocent when he's asleep. Morgan thinks that Reid doesn't get a lot of sleep. He can't resist putting a stray lock of hair behind his ear. He traces over the scars on his arms, finds that some of them are fresh.

"What are you doing, Morgan?" Reid asks as he jerks awake. He tries not to sound so scandalized, but it doesn't work because he's too worried. He knows he shouldn't care so much about what Morgan thinks of him. He folds his arms over his chest.

"You can't hide from a profiler, Reid."

"Hide what exactly?" He knows it's stupid to deny this right to his face.

"Reid," Morgan says and shakes his head. They look each other in the eyes until Reid blinks and swallows. "Do you want to stay for breakfast?"

Reid is visibly relieved that they're not talking about this. He really doesn't want to find out how disappointed Morgan is, much less the very high chance that he won't want to see him again. He knows he's drowning in Derek Morgan and he can't think of a single thing that will keep him afloat. "Yeah," he says, defeated.

"Come on," Morgan says with a smile, "I make really good french toast."

Suddenly, the sweet silence in the room is interrupted by Reid's phone. Reid already knows what that's about and he really does not want to deal with this.

"I'm sorry, Morgan, duty calls," Reid says, gets all his stuff and gets out before Morgan convinces him otherwise. Morgan wants Reid to stay, but he knows that the elephant in the room wouldn't have let them have a normal breakfast anyway.

Once outside, Reid hits redial.

"You promised a month" was the only thing Reid could make out from the yelling and swearing.

"I've hit complications. This guy is way too protected for my kind of work. Only someone with a gun can do the job," Reid lies when the guy stops to take a breath. "I will return all your money."

"I don't have time to look for someone else!"

"Not my problem," Reid barks into the phone and hangs up. He accesses all of his banks and returns the money. He also sends him some phone numbers, hoping that with that information he will be left alone (he doubts it, but it won't hurt to try).

~*~

Morgan doesn't hear from Reid for an entire week. He almost gets into a normal rhythm again until he spots Reid buying coffee in a shop near his house. All of it hits him at once: the fact that he cheated, repeatedly, on his girlfriend, fear of finding him dead from an overdose somewhere, and the overwhelming desire to never let him out of his sight again. 

Reid doesn't notice him, gets his drink and walks away. Morgan wants to follow, maybe find out where he lives to keep an eye out for him. He turns around and walks away instead, because that's the adult thing to do.

When Morgan gets home he throws himself on the couch and attempts to fall asleep. He hears a gentle knock on the door and he almost runs to it. It's wishful thinking, but he hopes that it might be Reid, showing up for another round of sweet, mind blowing sex.

He opens the door and gets punched right in the nose. He stumbles backwards holding his face and tasting blood. He stands up straight, ignores the pain and the blood rushing out of his nose and lands a punch back. His fist definitely hits flesh. Morgan gets into a fighting stance and looks his attacker in the face. He sighs, exasperated, because this is the man he helped arrest, the one that was released on bail few weeks ago. He's holding a gun to his face now, but safety's on. Morgan resist the urge to roll his eyes and laugh. Instead, he puts his arms up and starts backing away from the door.

Morgan doesn't know a lot about this man, mostly because he was an unnamed accomplice of the unsub the team was chasing back then. That, and he caught him out of sheer luck.

"Is this your attempt at revenge? It won't help keeping you out of jail, you know," Morgan says.

"Yes, this is revenge, and I'm still going to jail whether you're dead or not. I just want you dead."

"Let's talk about this, man." Morgan is still walking backwards, intending to trap this man in the middle of unfamiliar territory. "Would you like it better if you discredit me, or if I get fired? Isn't murder too dramatic for you?"

"Don't talk about me like you know me! You don't know me!" He's now waving his gun around while he speaks. "Throw your weapons on the floor," he says pointing the gun at Morgan again.

"I'm not armed."

"Yeah right. A full time FBI agent doesn't carry a weapon all the time."

"You're right. I do carry a weapon. It's just not always a gun," Morgan says and rips the gun out of his hands, then punches him in the chin with his elbow. He throws another punch right on his solar plexus and the man goes down. Morgan picks up the gun. "By the way, safety was on."

Morgan waits until the man stops gasping, clicks safety off and points the gun at him. "Look it's not my fault," he mutters, stumbling over his words, "I hired this genius kid, weaponless hitman to kill you but he backed out. He even returned all my money! What was I supposed to do?"

Morgan feels a tug in his heart: that description is too familiar. "What's his name?"

"I don't know his name! He's tall and skinny, hair looks like a mop."

Morgan doesn't say anything. He calls the police and remains silent until this idiot is arrested. Once everything settles,  Morgan paces around the room trying to deny the facts. Reid can't be the only messy haired tall skinny genius around here. Is he even capable of murder? Okay, so Reid doesn't carry a weapon but not using a weapon is about the only way one can gain the "untraceable" reputation. He hates to admit that it really makes sense, but he refuses to believe it until he gets confirmation.

He searches through his files to see if he ever suspected someone like Reid to be a hitman. He didn't. He used all his resources to keep track of discharged officers and other unsavoury characters with arsenals. Morgan trusts his gut and his gut is telling him that this isn't going to end well.

Savannah returns home early, before Morgan cleans up the place.

"What happened here?" she asks.

"It's a long story, but he's under arrest now. And nothing's broken."

Savannah looks around the house, at files scattered everywhere, and Morgan is in the middle of it all, again, and she feels like she's had enough.

"Derek, I can't be with you if you are married to the job," she says suddenly. "I can't come home to you knowing that yet another scumbag broke in here with the intention to hurt you, and by extension me."

Morgan looks at her, surprised and somehow relieved that she made the first step. He really does like her, but something is missing, something that only Reid makes him feel. 

"Your head hasn't been with me lately. I think... I think I deserve better."

Morgan sighs – she is right after all. He stands up and kisses her cheek. "You do deserve better."

She smiles a sad smile and kisses him on the lips one last time before she starts packing.

"We had some fun, didn't we?" He says as he leans against the doorway and watches her empty the drawers.

"Definitely," she gives him a warm smile.

She leaves and they promise to stay in touch. It's a bittersweet moment.

Though the second she's out the door he calls Reid. Not to tell him that he just got dumped, but to invite him over and attempt to get the truth out of him. He presumes that since all the money has been returned, Reid is no longer trying to kill him. Morgan's not sure if he'll arrest him if he'll get the truth.  Somehow, it only took Reid less than a month to send his entire life down this ridiculous morally grey path.

Reid's phone rings just as he's holding a tourniquet around his arm with his teeth. Amazing, Reid thinks, Morgan's stops him again when he's not physically in the room. Reid has a passing desire to throw the phone in the toiled just so the world leaves him alone for once.

"What do you want, Morgan, I'm a little busy at the moment."

"I want you to come over, right now."

"Why?" There is a sense of urgency in Morgan's voice, but it's not the kind that Reid would like. There is concern there too, and relief. What in the world is going on? Reid looks at the needle in his hand. He's been looking ahead to this all day. But he also desperately wants to see Morgan again.

Morgan doesn't say anything. He waits for Reid to make a decision to come to him.

"Alright, I'll be there. Just... give me an hour."

Morgan hangs up. Reid stares at his own reflection in the mirror and attempts to clear his mind.

He's still a mess. He doesn't know what to do and he needs help. However, there's only one person he can turn to, and he wishes the circumstances were different, but he has no other choice.

He dials the number. There's no response, so he leaves a message: "Ethan, I need your help. Please get back to me as soon as you can." He waits five minutes and calls again, leaving another message. He does this two more times and then he gives up. He ties the tourniquet around his arm again and plunges that damn needle into his vein because things couldn't get much worse anyway. The calm doesn't last, it's even shorter than usual. He injects himself three more times. He's now reached a tolerance for the damn thing, he needs more and more, and he can't make himself do anything about it.

He slumps against the countertop, sits on the floor, closes his eyes, and embraces peace while it's still within reach.

An hour passes, then two, and Morgan panics. Reid sounded shaken, on edge. Morgan knows exactly what that means, and he has to make sure that Reid is not dead.

"Garcia, I need a favour," he says into his phone (he's been holding it in his hands all this time). "I need you to track the location of the phone I called."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly wanted this to be a 2 chapter thing. But halfway through Reid started doing his own thing, again. 
> 
> This always happens. Whenever I start writing stuff I end up having so little control over characters... But anyway, have this chapter while I decide if I want a happy ending or not.
> 
> UPDATE: A coworker of mine is on maternity leave, so we're all picking up extra shifts. I'm constantly exhausted so update may not be as soon as I promised, but it will be up.


	3. Chapter 3

"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" Ethan checks Reid's pulse, squeezes his shoulder and then slaps him a few times. He sits down on the floor across from Reid and waits until he wakes up.

"What took you so long?" are the first words out of Reid's mouth.

"I do have a life outside of you. No actually, my life doesn't even include you, remember? You decided to cut me out of it."

"I wanted to get clean, and I did."

"Well that didn't last long."

"You don't have to be so sarcastic."

Ethan gives him a look, but his face softens. "You are a mess Spencer, what the hell happened to you?"

Reid sighs, and rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands. "I met someone."

"Who is she?" Ethan is completely uninterested, and that comes through in his voice.

"He works for the FBI. I was supposed to kill him."

"Let me stop you right there. This is your problem, Spencer. You care too much about what you're supposed to do." He scoots closer and places a hand on Reid's knee. "Just stop resisting the feeling. If you want something, go and get it. If you care about him, let yourself care.."

"The same way I cared about you?" Reid scoffs and shakes Ethan's hand off. "Look where that got me."

Ethan moves even closer until their legs are touching. "He's not me. He wouldn't do this." He plants a wet and sloppy kiss on Reid's lips. Reid sighs and leans into it. Ethan knows what Reid likes and he doesn't wait to see if Reid's actually agreeing to go through with this. He runs his fingers through his hair and bites his lips. As he lowers his hands to the hem of Reid's shirt he gets really close, so their bodies are almost touching.

 Reid missed Ethan, but he didn't miss what usually followed. He did not miss watching Ethan drink and experiment with drug cocktails. He did not miss Ethan asking him if he wanted to try them too, and he always did because he could never resist the look on Ethan's face.

Reid stops the kiss and stands up. He gets as far from him as possible, using his body language to make explicit statement that Ethan's not allowed to touch him like this anymore.

Ethan frowns. "Why did you call me here?"

"I didn't. I just wanted to talk to you on the phone. I did not say that I wanted you in my house, not even once. There wasn't even a hint." Reid already regrets calling him. He wanted to talk, to ask how to deal with all these feelings, but seeing Ethan in person is just too much. The memories come crashing down and they do nothing to help.

"It's nice to see you too."

"I didn't say it wasn't nice to see you." Reid sighs and leans against the counter. He grabs his own elbows.  "But you should go, Ethan. Just call back next time."

When Ethan leaves, something strange happens: Reid doesn't feel the need to use. He did with Ethan around, but now... He can't explain it but he's sure glad that it happened. He knows that it won't last, he knows that the urge will probably hit him again soon, but he feels like he's been given another chance to get clean.

He looks at the time, and he frowns: it's been at least three hours and there are way too many missed calls from Morgan. He's probably looking for him now, maybe even going against policy and using FBI resources to do that. Of course, this had to happen before Reid changed phones.  FBI could track him now because Morgan has his phone number.

Reid imagines that Morgan already has an address by now. He panics a little and runs to the bathroom to attempt to clean up all the glass and hide any remaining vials. He even sweeps up all the garbage from under the sink. After tidying up the rest of the apartment he tries to figure out what he's going to tell Morgan.  Telling the truth is probably a good way to go, but he's just too afraid of dealing with the situation where Morgan decides to end it, whatever "it" is.

He won't do it. He will not let this end. He will be a normal person and talk about all this with Morgan. Morgan the federal agent, who arrests people like Reid for a living. He cannot imagine how this could possibly end well for either of them.

~*~

Someone is knocking on the door. Reid rushes to it before Morgan kicks it open (though he would love to see him do that).

"Whatever you want, go away," he says, hoping that it really wasn't Morgan.

"Reid I just want to make sure you're okay."  Morgan doesn't _sound_ angry. He sounds genuinely concerned. Reid sighs to calm his racing heart, but in vain. He opens the door, takes one look at Morgan and he knows that somehow he's not in as much trouble as he thought: it's actually much worse.

Morgan walks inside, and Reid locks the door.

"Morgan you don't have to do this. You can just walk away and forget you ever met me." It actually hurt him to say those words.

"I can't do that." Morgan bites the inside of his cheek. He can't tell Reid how much he means to him, not yet, it's too soon. And Reid might walk away, he's even suggesting for Morgan to walk away!

"How much do you know?" Reid asks carefully. They stand awkwardly in silence until Reid ushers Morgan to sit on the couch. Reid sits as far away from Morgan as he can: he's afraid if he sits close he'll want to touch him, kiss him, fuck him... Reid blinks away the arousal because they are having a serious conversation now and there is no time for sex.

"Well I know you have a drug problem, and that you were sober for a while and relapsed recently. But that's not why I'm worried." Reid actually holds his breath for this one. "When you didn't meet up with me I tracked down your location with your phone number. And my technical analyst stumbled upon a lot of information about you, Reid, some of it concerned me."

"Morgan I can explain."

Morgan ignores him. "I know you've been troubled all your life, and that explains the completely illegal and immoral job of yours. It probably explains your habit, though I have a feeling that it was something more personal that drove you to it. And no, I don't want to know the details now, "he says when Reid opens his mouth to speak again, "Reid I don't care what you do, we can talk about that later. I just want you to tell me the truth."

Well he wasn't expecting that. He looks Morgan in the eyes searching for anything that would help him see some sort of speck of deceit or uncertainty, but he doesn't find any. "Tell you the truth about what?" he asks, his voice shaking.

"Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance? You had a lot of chances." Morgan moves slightly closer, and Reid can see the pain in his face. It's not coming from revelations about who Reid actually is, it's coming from the truth Morgan doesn't want to hear.

"I was ready to do it," Reid says, finally deciding that it's now or never. "And no one was going to suspect anything. But you did something to me, something that no combination of drugs I ever took could. It was so selfish of me, but I had to see you again." He's only a few words away from telling Morgan he might love him. It's terrifying.

Morgan's face softens, he's relieved. Then Morgan's hands are on Reid's face and they are breathing heavily, inches away from each other. "I find myself able to overlook the things you did, and I don't normally let criminals go. But I will do it for you, Spencer." He doesn't say "I will do anything for you" because he doesn't need to.

The kiss is rough and needy, like they haven't seen each other in years, but it tells them everything they need to know. Reid is apologizing, promising he'll change (both to himself and to Morgan). Morgan is assuring him that he doesn't care but will stand by whatever decision Reid makes, he's soothing and comforting, promising to never let him go, and Reid is okay with that.

Morgan pushes Reid back, and starts touching him _everywhere_. He unbuttons Spencer's shirt and plants kisses all over his smooth chest and stomach. He takes off his own shirt, and now Spencer's raking his nails across Derek's chest.

Derek opens Spencer's belt and peels off his pants and boxers to his knees. He kisses Spencer again and starts pumping his hard cock. Spencer's hands wrap around his back, holding him close. 

Derek works Spencer a little more and then lets go to get himself free. He rubs their cocks together with one hand, then starts pumping both at the same time. Spencer moans into his mouth and Derek does too. It's messy, and just a little uncomfortable for both of them, but soon enough Derek is coming and Spencer follows. They both had better, but it doesn't matter. Now they know that none of the worst case scenarios are ever going to happen.

They lie on the couch, in an increasingly uncomfortable position, with neither of them wanting to let the other out of sight ever again.

~*~

A month later, Garcia helps Reid get a new identity. He moves in with Morgan.

A week after that, Spencer Reid (known as Spencer Reid only to Morgan and Garcia) applies to the FBI academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for making all of you suffer through this. I wish I put more effort into these 3 chapters (because I know I can do better).
> 
> But, if you enjoyed any of this, I am very glad! Thank you for reading.


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